whitewashing~

despite the flu bug

taking us all captive

the work must go on

closet walls complete

shelving and racks to come

as beautiful as the original wood floors are

i ♥♥♥ white washed floors even more

now i do not recommend doing this while your are sick

pics taken while floor is still drying

WHITEWASHING  101

really it was quite a simple process

sand strip flooring

{we ran caulking through the grooves for easier cleaning}

mix 2 parts paint to 1 part water

roll 1-2 boards at a time

let sit 1-2 mins

wipe with a big sponge

LET DRY

sand gently

{the water can lift small little splinters up from wood}

apply water based polyurethane

this is prior to the poly going on

floor drying

more updates to come

HOPEFULLY SOON

cause i think we are just about done with

living out of our living room

it has taken a bit longer than expected

due to sickness

and my love having to work long hours

but

if you ask

would we do it again

well yes

almost the whole house

will be done like so

room by room

little by little

day by day

wing or sprinter~

WING

definition:

winter, spring...a balance of two seasons

both ready to take flight

SPRINTER

definition:

spring,winter...two seasons

trying to decide who can out run thee other

DO YOU THINK MY WORDS

COULD MAKE IT INTO WEBSTER???

i.am.so.confused

just as i have been collecting seeds

YES

my friends

IT IS SNOWING AS I TYPE

has been all night

i have been wondering what is wrong with me

and my ability to accomplish anything great or small

i realized that it has nothing at all to actually do with me

or my physical or mental weebles

but...it is has everything to do with

 everything and everyone that surrounds me

that has inhibited me from accomplishing much of nothing

nice excuse...right

sounds rational to me at the moment though

MARCH 13

12:50 am...one sister discharged from the E.R.

{all is well}

12:59am...walk out the E.R. door...snow is falling

1:20am...drop sister off at home

1:33am...arrive home

1:35am...crawl into bed

1:36am...husband moaning

to add to one wee little who has been sick

now i have one big one

1:38am...my love is on fire...

1:40am...mama...{mind you...this is my love speaking}

what happened to my medicine

and soup you were going to make...

{see i went to bellydancing last night

got in my car afterwards...called my love

 to ask what he wanted me to bring home...

only to hear the words...

your sister has been trying to get a hold of you...

told him i'd call him back...

sister kind of trumphed my love last night in the priority list}

so there was no soup or meds for him when i returned home

1:41am...{me} go to sleep

1:42am...{my love} ok...when you wake up

to a bag of bones...and i'm dead...

don't blame me...its not my fault

1:43am...{me} well it was nice knowing you...

you were a wonderful husband and father

1:44am...{my love} your horrible

1:45am {me} I KNOW...goodnight

1:46am {my love} mama...i don't feel well

1:47am...{me} its almost 2 o clock in the morning

and its snowing...

do you really want me to

 drive to the store to get you medicine

 and stuff for soup

1:47am...{my love}YES...yes please

1:48am...i get out of bad and grab the thermometer

1:50am...one love has a 101 temp

1:51am...get medicine and give to my love

1:53am...crawl back into bed

1:55am...{my love} so it looks like i am gonna have to swallow my tongue

starve to death...i guess thats ok...

1:56am...{me} i hope it tastes good as it goes down

1:57am...{my love] your mean

1:58am...{me} i know...i love you...good night

1:59am...{my love} are you really not going

 to go to the store

2:00am...{me} you know what...let me sleep till 5:00am

 then i will get up and run to the store

2:01am...{my love} i won't make it

2:02am...{me} your killing me

this went on for i don't know how long

finally i got up and made him some tea and soup

3:35am...crawled into bed

5:06am...{one wee littlest} slides into bed...

so mama...hows she doing...

what you want to do today

5:07am {me} ssshhh...lets stay silent for awhile

5:071/2am...{one wee littlest} mama

5:08am...{me} yes

5:08am...{one wee littlest} i'm not tired can we get up and i'll help you make your coffee

needless to say i am now at about

36 hours of NO SLEEP

minus the few hours

 that i did actually close my eyes

sound likes fun huh...how is your day going???

Eddie Vedder - Long Road {with lyrics}



an oldie but goodie

one i have carried with me

but kind of forgot about until recently

for some reason

it came back for a visit

with my mind and spirit

and it has been with me everyday since

heres to feeding your soul



and I wished for so long...
I cannot stay
All the precious moments...
Cannot stay
It's not like wings have fallen...
I cannot say
Without you something is missing...
I cannot say

Holding hands of daughters and sons
In their phase they're falling down
Down, down, down

I have wished for so long...
How I wish for you again

Will I walk the long road?
I cannot stay
There's no need to say goodbye

Oh, the friends and family...
All the memories going round
Round, round round...

I have wished for so long...
How I wished for you today

And the wind keeps rollin'
And the sky keeps turning grey
And the sun is set
The sun will rise another day

I have wished for so long...
How I wish for you today

I have wished for so long...
How I wish for you today
Will I walk the long road?
We all walk the long road



prepare your heart~

it may start melting soon

this past sunday

oh yes

you guessed so

six more

of the wee littlest of littles

came home to join our family

little miss
Libra

little miss
Jet

little miss
Owl

little miss

 Fluff

little miss Sleeping Beauty

oh ooppss i meant to say

little miss

Ruby

little miss

Brownie

so...is your heart melting yet

six girls and their new home~

one wee older one

went into panic mode

"but mama you just jumped from

bringing them home

to almost a year later 

them in their first snow"

he said i never finished sharing their tale

i told him  no worries

its my blog

i can jump ahead

or fall behind

so back to the first few days in may of 2011

a glimpse of the girls and their new home to be

the one thing i found most fascinating

was what we were told

 about their night time little ritual

"as soon as mr sun

starts sinking beyond the horizon

one by one these little ones

will go into their coop"

fascinated by

HOW

 TRUE

THESE WORDS

 REALLY WERE

one by one

in an orderly fashion

they march themselves in

and snuggle up for the night

and so a new day of hard work began

by mid morning the next day

we were busy scurrying about

while some decided to lounge around

the more we worked

the more exhausted they became!!!

more work

more rest...i tell ya

a look inside their new home to be

this here little one
always up for a wee little snuggle

much time has passed

so be prepared for many more

wee little glimpses of our six girls

broken~

"Don't tell me the moon is shining,

show me

 the glint of light on broken glass"

anton chekhov

anyone else having a difficult time

this month

trying to process thoughts

i came across this site the other day

"With this moon we get a taste

 of what’s to come.

 Whether it be severe delusion

or the ultimate in

poetic, sublime, soul mate romance,

 it will be very hard

to keep ones feet on the ground."

i feel like maybe i am suffering from severe delusion

hehehe

ok...not really but

those around me...i am kind of questioning

which in turn makes me question myself

... she speaks of ...

 problems with boundaries,

but we will all be feeling

a bit more at one with the universe.

 with need to be a hermit 

This gives us permission to be

a little blue, wistful and self reflective

i found myself nodding my head

funny how you stumble upon

something when you truly need it

a gift

a thought

BROKEN...but not



trying snow~

"You can't always get what you want,

but if you try sometimes,
you might find,

you get what you need"

the rolling stones

Sunday was filled with snow

a long over due drive

was taken sunday afternoon

over the river

along the winding paths we crossed

climbing higher & higher

until the top we reached

looking out amongst

the wide open space

back down it was

stopping only for a moment

so one wee older one could stretch their legs

one wee little exclaims

we're here papa...we're here

able to recognize

the land so familiar

but signs were posted stating

private property

so we traveled a little farther

and this is what we found

the mountains were ours this day

not a single soul or creature could be found

i turned my back only for a second

to hear one wee littles voice echoing loud & clear

i know the pic doesn't look that great

but

one wee little

had hopped on a snowboard for the FIRST time

and was sailing sweetly down the hill

with ease & grace

one older one gently glides through the snow

my spirit filled

i can not express enough

of how i feel when spending time in the woods

 

does this bring back a memory???

if no...you can refresh your mind

 here & here

hhhmmm

 

oh YES...YES...YES...YES

i did i did

i really did

&

oh so happy i tried again

 

if i could teach my wee littles one thing~

...NEVER say NEVER...

for if you do...you may be in for one heck of a journey

long ago i uttered the word

NEVER

At no time in the past or future;

 on no occasion; not ever

Not at all:

i would NEVER

there is NEVER

that would NEVER

i tried many things in my teenage years

that i probably NEVER should have

one day came

 and somehow

someway

my love and i had stumbled upon each other once more

in the days that followed were many

NEVERS i would have NEVER just so freely let go

mind you ...these were some good NEVERS

then when i knew quite clear that i had become pregnant

and NEVER didn't quite apply as it once did

i got married

and then divorced

and NEVER became a glimpse of my reality

i became a mama

and NEVER slowly seemed to fade away

i married

this time my love

how it should have been

and NEVER didn't seem to visit much

i became a mama again

and found

 there is not such a word in my life

 anymore

in between was

 pain and sadness

 happiness and joy

grief and sorrow

 bliss and love

but

if i can teach my little one thing in life

 it is to

NEVER say NEVER

it seems all i said my NEVERS about

became apart of my life

apart of my past

i have experienced

almost each NEVER

i vowed to not experience

and i often wonder if i had

NEVER said NEVER

about such

maybe they would not have come to be

we can plan our lives only to a certain extent

somehow someway

then the in between happens

the life we don't expect

the life we are not ready for

the life that was not in our plan

the life we had thought we chose so clearly to not come forth

the life we wish were not present when it arrives

yet we grab that life stuff

and do the best we can during those minutes and moments

we get through those life happenings

maybe clean or maybe with a bit of wounds

wounds that take time to heal

wounds we carry with us for a long time to come

wounds that lie dormant as we think

yet they are there right on the surface ready to tip over

 and drip on who ever is nearest

wounds that haunt us when we least anticipate

wounds that will heal

as long you

NEVER say NEVER

 we pick ourselves up and continue walking

hopefully learning a lesson or two

i had written this back in october

 and was reminded of these words

as i was having a conversation with a friend last night