"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning,
but anyone can start today
and make a new ending"
maria robinson
my love and i
just a
I AM
thankful for the two wee littles we do have
we are beyond blessed being able to
bring two into our world without any troubles
i am trying to be excited for our future
for the new chapter that is waiting for us
as a family and for my love and i
CHAPTER 33
in about an hour and a half
we will be heading out the door
making our way to a place
that will be closing this chapter of our life
a decision
that i am tired of hearing people say
"oh good...what a relief"
a decision that unfortunately
i did not have full control over making
a decision that has come to be
because of my health for one
i was taken off birth control last year
i was told if i get pregnant
i would be back on blood thinners
a risk that is not worth taking
prior to last years episode
my love and i
had always said
maybe
maybe one day
we will have another
we will have another
we'll see
we were not ready to make a final decision
but alas
now the time has come
i wish i could write
and be like many
who rejoice in not having to worry any more
about the possibility of
but i am not
the thought of knowing this is it
i will never carry another child
makes my heart break a bit
i wish i could have been able
to come to this decision with my love
because it is what we wanted
not what is best for all
does that make sense
i don't want sympathy
i guess more or less
just a
i understand your emotions
not
a
i am so happy for you
to me that is just
a thoughtless mumble of words
people are speaking
so as this chapter of our life comes to an end
I AM
thankful for the two wee littles we do have
we are beyond blessed being able to
bring two into our world without any troubles
i am trying to be excited for our future
for the new chapter that is waiting for us
as a family and for my love and i
i will try to embrace this moment
and emerge from the saddness i feel
open my heart to be willing and ready to embark
on this next page of our life
our story to be told
written with only happiness at hand
and emerge from the saddness i feel
open my heart to be willing and ready to embark
on this next page of our life
our story to be told
written with only happiness at hand
17 comments:
Hugs to you today, Brandi.
I'm sorry. Very sorry.
Sending you hugs and peace.
I send open heart and ears, and a pair of hugging arms. I can't say that I understand 'exactly' what you feel, but I know what it means to want to just experience something, share the emotions with others and have them watch you, listen... without waiting for anything.
I don't want to have children. Not for any reasons in particular, but because when it comes to children, I enjoy the relationship between my nieces and nephews and between the children around me. Many times, I've wished others who know this about me didn't look at me and say "That is so sad," as if I'm a broken being. I'm just me, and I love who I am. There are things I don't want or need, I just want to be me.
I want you, too, to be the person who you want to be.
holding space for you and your love...
xoxoxox
having a decision thrust upon you is never easy, even though you know that it must be. take time for your feelings of loss. it is the only way the the time to come can be full. and knowing that you are loved and understood should make this time bearable. Oma Linda
Embracing you right where you are, right now in this moment...
You are loved by me (((Brandi!)))
Brandi, take time for yourself with your family and it's perfectly natural to grieve a dream. Know that many of us are sending you blessings.
Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. I can empathize with how you are feeling. I've my two boys and had tried for years for a third child. Then, one day, just like that, and early menopause was here. Know that I am here for you.
(((Hugs))) my friend.
Mary
Lot's of prayers and big hugs to you my dear friend!! I know that this is a very difficult time for you, one that as a woman and a mother I can empathize with. Please know that I am here if you ever need to talk!
Blessings with you you my friend.
Sincerely,
Melinda
We are not having any more, though sometimes I wish I could do it one more time....I loved being the nurturing vessel that brought forth new life....and I only got to do it once....
I understand and am sorry....but the selfish girl in me wants you to be healthy, too...it is a dilemma without a conclusion....
Sending much love,
Cam
I am struggling to find words. I am so very sorry. Much love. xxx
A long warm hug and best wishes for you, my dear friend. Personal decisions are only to be understood and respected. I hope you find sunshine even when the sun refuses to shine once in a while. oxx
Sending lots of love and hugs your way. I know how hard this must be for you. And I understand. I was not able to have a child of my own - although I took solace in my nieces growing up, spoiling them as if they were my own, and now my nephew. Then I have my furry children - which bring me much joy. You will have joy in a new chapter of your life, of this I am certain. In the meantime, just know that we are all very much with you. xoxo
I hear you, hold you close to my heart.
Thinking of you. It can't be easy.
B- I have been out of your loop for a little while - sorry about that - no excuses - just life. In a weird way it was good to get your diagnosis and know what it was all about; but sad that it has ongoing repercussions. May you have the strength to continue to celebrate the two wee ones you have, your husband and your life. Go well - thinking and vibing for you. B
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~your thoughts i do adore...thank you so for taking time to leave your words of wisdom~