feb. 25
just as my mind had been wandering
to spring like days
to spring like days
old man winter decided to stop by for a visit
i sat here yesterday in my cozy little home
littles and i snuggled up on our couch
feeling the warmth of our fireplace
the heat of my young
and i started to wonder if
snow
was what i really needed
see mondays arrival came with a turn in my road
it lead me back to the er
no worries though all is well as well can be
no new clots
but a visit to a pulmonary doctor i will be headed
this little visit alas came with fair warning
that i need to accept what is
and realize how much my life has changed
i was told that pain will be for sometime
and time is what my body needs
for i will not bounce back immediately
slow this process will be
hhhmmm
not sure how much i was liking my doctors words at that moment
i think she could quite clearly see
the frustration that lay within my eyes
the frustration that lay within my eyes
she walked slowly over
and placed her hand on my shoulder
and said
its ok and it will be all over one day
but for now
just allow your body to recover and rest
this is a very difficult thing for me
sounds quite easy right
but it is a difficult thing for me to just sit and be
when i want to be up
move around
and feel as if i am actually doing something
to help myself to feel better
to help myself to feel better
to be as i was in the days past
so as of now
i have been working on accepting this news
and trying to listen to my body
and not so much my mind
realizing that just as quickly
as the weather can change
so to can my health
so as of now
i have been working on accepting this news
and trying to listen to my body
and not so much my mind
realizing that just as quickly
as the weather can change
so to can my health
i apologize for my silence
and look forward to one day returning as i was
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15 comments:
Oh hon...I am heartbroken that you are going through this! I understand the frustration you feel. OMG hon this was so scary!! I am sending Reiki your way..not just for your health..but to help you relax maybe a bit!! Funny how when life is so busy we wish for those days that we can do nothing at all..but when we have to we don't want it! The snow is a blessing..keeping you wanting cozy and calm! I have that here this week and needed the break..but it is not the same hon! Thinking of you and sending hugs and love, Sarah
Beautiful photos and yes, take it easy! Give that gift to your body and yourself.
How refreshing to hear of a doctor actualling putting a hand on a patients shoulder, looking them in the eye and having compassion.
Faerwillow, I am so sorry for your health struggles right now. The only thing I can offer by way of advice is to just take it one day at a time. If that seems like too much, break the day down into morning, afternoon evening.
Everyone is pulling for your recovering. In the meantime, rest rest rest.
One of the hardest lessons to learn in life is to accept what is. I too am impatient with what I want to be and now if you please and even if you don't please, but my maladies (such as they are) and damnable wisdom (forced not found) have led to me find new pursuits that are better suited to my reality. In this time of quiet, rest and recouperation...you too must find pursuits that lead to peace, calm and regain what you can......in time. I know you will. We all want you to be peaceful and pain free. With much love, TOB, Linda
We're still thing of you here in Ireland my friend. I know it's hard to take it easy when you're not used to it and to accept the change it brings, but your doctor sounds like a wise woman and remember her words that it won't be this way forever. Someday you'll look back at this time as just another of life's little tests that you overcame. For now take it easy and enjoy the love of your family,
Roisin x
p.s. I adore your photos, as always :)
Sweetheart, I do understand... I was young with little ones when I first became ill... it is very hard to adjust and you have every right to feel overwhelmed, sad, frustrated, frightened...whatever you are feeling is ok and exactly what needs to be felt, even though it may be uncomfortable to have these feelings on top of being sick and in physical pain.
The good news (although I know right now it seems far away) is that the doctor said that your health will return in time, with rest. That's wonderful, even though the waiting is hard. Both/and, right?
Sending you love on a very snowy day here in NH too.
xoxo
A deep breath of thanks, that although you are limited....you still have so much! I am glad...as is the world....to have you in whatever capacity you are able to comfortably give us....fear not that we measure it's quantity....
Give to yourself first....and we will soon see your rays of light penetrate the clouds :)
Maybe treat this time as a gift - a time to think, reflect, write. You can't rush about multi-tasking, so instead just BE.
Looks like old man winter is helping you here. When I was at school our motto was "be still and know". At the time I always thought it was rather silly, but as we grow older we understand so much more. Wise words. Be still my friend and use this time as it was meant to be. I know that as a mother it is hard to focus just on yourself when you see so much going on around you that (you think) needs your input. But sometimes we just need to be still.... and know....
Be well soon. xx
You are a strong woman, spiritual stamina, you have it. Focus, you have that too. It is my thought many healing's are coming to your during this time.
Daily you are in my remembrances.
Blessings!
You have been in my thoughts. Take all the time you need to heal - your body requires rest and gentleness. I am happy to hear you will heal, with time. As they say - good things come to those who wait. Drink in the beauty of the earth and allow it to help you be better. xoxo Theresa
It is not easy and you are handling things beautifully. Thanks for allowing us to be part of your journey.
I thought of you today... I was reading my results from last tests. I got the letter last Wednesday, but didn't have the heart to open it. I was feeling too sick and didn't want any more bad news; so I waited and told myself I wasn't being a coward, just waiting a bit.
The results say that my life will be changing a little too. My shoulder is getting worse and surgery won't fix the changes. My shoulder is so bad that I can't carry 5 lbs with my right side. I can't push heave door. I can't carry my laptop. If I decide to have a baby I might not be able to hold my young. The last one made me very sad, but I wiped the tears and told myself "Stick your laptop on your roller bag, push the door with your other side, and if a baby come let the army of annoying family members you have help you hold him; life goes on." It might be a different life, but it goes on and it is still yours.
My heart and prayers are with you my friend.
Thinking of you. This can't be easy for you, but I know you will take the dr.'s advice and rest and heal. You are such a 'doer' - always crafting or mothering or out taking photos (which we love) but it's time to let others do for you. You will get stronger in time.
So many hugs to you!
yes, winter is good for relaxing and recovering. I am sorry you have pain, that is no fun at all. Sending healing light to you~ always.
FW-sorry that we have not dropped by lately - we have been on the road a lot for work-work. Still thinking of you and yours and sending positive healing vibes. The road to being healed can have many twists and turns but it is the right road and will end in recovery. Listen to your body and spirit and do what needs to be done as it needs to be done. Continue to be peace-filled. Go well and grow well. B&F
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~your thoughts i do adore...thank you so for taking time to leave your words of wisdom~